Confucius sez...

I do so love fortune cookies. And not just because you get to append each one with the phrase "in bed" and then giggle like fourteen year-olds, even though most of the table has forgotten the last time they were carded at a bar.

Today's fortune:

"Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you."

Obviously I was meant to open this one near my night stand.

Uncle!

For those who were bitchin' that I don't forward them net.crap anymore, take that!

And that!

And that! (via Lisa)

Didja know Mariah Carey has her own blog? I 'bout peed. My favorite bit:

Tuesday, October 9, 2001 :::

I woke up naked and twitching at some hotel room in El Segundo. My clothes were gone and I had no purse, money or anything. There was a $100 bill on the nightstand and some crystal meth. Last I remember, I was going over to a friend's house to talk. How do days like this happen? Thank GOD my kidneys weren't gone!
::: posted by Mariah Carey at 5:21 PM

From: The Daily Probe -- Because real news sucks.

Driving to work today, was surprised to see a rickety (is there any other kind?) Lada Niva tooling along beside me. I wiped that wrinkle of distaste off my nose right quick as I realized what driving a non-status symbol like a Lada says about the, erm... confidence of the man behind the wheel.

Gave him a huge smile as I drove by. He smiled back, knowing I knew.

What is it about me?? I've had friends tell me time and time again that, though single, I radiate some sort of "I'm seeing someone" vibe. Now of course, I figured my friends were full of shit. I mean, I'm not and I wouldn't recognize this vibe thing of which they speak if it tossed me in a pickup and eloped with me to Vegas. Then this:

S: Oh, did I tell you about the other night?
Me: No, what?
S: You know, when we were out dancing... it was the funniest thing.
Me: Uh huh...
S: Well, R was asking me why the heck you never bring your husband with you when we go out.

Husband?!? I've got a mother of a vibe goin' on.

Oh baby, yeah. Am indoctrinated into Bob the Corgi's Cult of Susan. Wondering how soon it will be before someone passes the KoolAid...

*i am susan* *i am susan* *i am SUSAN*

it's a bird, it's a plane...

Everyone's got a superpower. Though judging by the comments at Lisa's place, some may be unusual. It's just a question of figuring out what yours is.

Mine? Ah... that's easy. I can sing along to any song recorded after 1952.

It's a burden, I know. But I try to always use it for good, never for evil.

Oh fer godsakes... I can't resist. It's Bill's fault.





Wowie! You are Redensek! You are techy yet cute, and pretty much all around cool. Everyone loves you! You're fun, popular, and can mold yourself to fit right in to any situation.

Natch.

stroke, glide... stroke, glide...

Went cross-country skiing for the first time yesterday, and I cannot tell you how much I wish I could meet the inventor of this sport in person. Having found the ski machine at the gym to be great fun, I was pretty darned psyched to begin with. Though a little surprised to discover that not knowing how to ski or ice skate gave me a bit of a learning curve to overcome. So very wierd to feel your feet are six feet long and slippy...

The day got off to a slower start than I would have liked, with it taking twenty minutes to herringbone up that slope just outside the clubhouse. My friends are amazing though. They just stood at the top of the bump waiting patiently for me to get my "ski legs" and only laughing aloud at the particularly funny bits. Felt great to push my body to the limit and finally arrive, glowing with exertion, at the entrance to the ski trail proper.

Things improved along at a steady pace and I must say, no other hill, no matter how much higher, was more difficult then that first one. Except maybe for that one I did a face-plant on. Oh, and that really long one where I slid backwards nearly off the edge and into the ravine. Otherwise, no problems--I mostly fell down when we were standing around talking. After a couple hours of this, I was popping right back up again without breaking conversational stride. Am so proud of me!

As the kilometers passed, I really started to feel like I was getting the hang of it. For seconds at a time the rhythm would click into place and it all made perfect sense. I think I even glided once. And oh! the scenery! As we approached the lakeshore after our 458th kilometer, K waves his arm majestically and says, "This is why it's worth it!" and he's exactly right! I will forever remember those few precious times I was able to drag my eyes up from my stubbornly-crossing skis to take in a flash of slushy white scenery. And not just because I'd immediately have to pinwheel my arms to keep upright, either.

My friends said that it's quite unlikely we'll ski again unless we get some decent snowfall. And so I find myself obsessed with the nightly newscasts, waiting for a glimpse of those snowflake graphics with a feeling that is truly... indescribable.

Last night, squash game, dinner at the Stick and random conversation:

Me: You know, I've always kinda wished I had a little cleft in my chin. <pinches chin for effect>
B: Wouldn't that make you look more masculine?
R: MORE masculine!!? Oh no...
Me: <sigh>

My friends do so think they're funny.

Well if genetics didn't give me the cleft, at least I've got the dimples, tongue roll, and a Bony Tori (oh hush).

beeeep...

I am the worst negotiator in the world, the absolute worst. Especially when it comes to work stuff. It's like I somehow broadcast "shit on meeee" at a frequency only people I need something from can hear, while the rest of me, oblivious to the noise, struggles to make a reasoned and impassioned argument. They just cock their heads and smirk, waiting for me to stop babbling long enough for them to say no.

When will I get good at this?!

violated

Said my brother when I debuted this site:

It's like "My E-diary"... And I don't have to pick the lock like on your old Holly Hobbie one.

Revenge shall be mine.

atch

No time, no time! No time for my new toy! Deadlines so do suck...

zoom zoom

My mechanic just called to tell me he wants about two hundred dollars of my hard-earned cash. Here's why I plan to pay the man.

Yesterday, a bunch of us were about to take a friend, who was moving overseas, to the airport. I put my window down to yell something (probably smartassed) only to discover that it would not go back up again. Not really a big problem if it wasn't January in Montreal. My friend's mom was riding in my car and we were rushing to get to the airport to see him off. Could it get any worse? Of course it could.

About halfway to the airport, our makeshift barrier of plastic sheeting and duct tape gave way, so I and one of the guys in the back seat had to hang onto the edges of it for dear life, fighting against the air pressure and screaming to be heard over the flapping noise as I barrelled down the highway.

Luckily we had extra duct tape for the ride home.

Ugh, templates are a pain. Must... make... own...

Hmm. wonder what happens if I edit? And christ, I should really give this thing a proper name, eh?

Just created a blogger account. Let the posting begin!